The Way I Used To Be by Amber Smith

Once in awhile you come across a book that tells a story that touches your soul. It changes your heart and leaves a lasting impression. The Way I Used To Be by Amber Smith is that kind of novel. 

I was hesitant to read this book because I relate to it on a very personal level and was nervous of the emotions and memories it would stir up. But, I'm so glad I read it because it is truly a beacon of hope and light on a dark situation that plagues so many people. An American is sexually assaulted every 107 seconds. It's a very real and serious issue that doesn't have enough support or talk. People are still afraid to come forward. Victims are not just victims they are survivors, victorious and symbols of hope and strength. Eden, the main character of The Way I Used To Be, is an example of what happens when you don't have the help or knowledge of how to get help when someone abuses or assults you in any way. Every person and every situation is different and unfortunately there is no one method to resolve it -- its not black and white. 

While it's uncomfortable, difficult and saddening to discuss, it needs to screamed from the rooftops-- voices need to be heard, and rapists need to be stopped and justice served. 

I'm grateful to Amber Smith, who writes in the novel that it is a fictional story and not her own personal experience, she sheds light on rape and what happens not just to a person's body when attacked, but to their minds and hearts as well as how it affects those around them like family and friends. 

I cried like a baby. I cried for Eden while she was raped and I cried for her as she evolved and changed because of it. The story is not for the faint of heart. But, what an amazing book! Even while facing difficulties getting through it, I would gladly read it again simply for the fact that it's important this book exists. Every day organizations and advocates of important issues like rape, depression and suicide break down barriers and erase stigmas. Every day those suffering get the help, support and encouragement they need to keep fighting. 

I guess the one message I'd want this book to really express is that we are not alone. You are not alone in your fight. Taking back your life, heart and body is possible even when it doesn't seem that way. Please don't give up. Don't let your attacker steal anymore from you because you are loved, important and there is no one else like you on this planet -- you are needed! While you may have lost who you used to be, you can become someone even better. Resources are out there. Counseling really turned my life around and helped me heal my heart and move forward. Sometimes you just need to know you're not alone. 

If you or anyone you know has been abused or sexually assaulted please seek help. For free, confidential support visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network at rainn.org or call their hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE